Some status on Dale: First off, don't worry, He gets like this a lot. Or, he used to. See, Dale is a recovered alcoholic. He used to be fuckin-a crazy at the parties. Frank the Tank?- pfffffffff, somebody beat me off. He ain't got nothin' on Dale "You Gonna have to post bale" Mankowski. I swear, that crazy son of a bitch would always end up behind bars after a night of heavy drinking. So, his uptight family had an intervention one day, and Dale had to promise he wouldn't drink anymore and that he'd go to AA. Well, he's been clean for a while.
But, fuck, you gotta celebrate when Misty May-Treanor plays the volleyball. So, unbeknownst to him, I poured some SoCo into his creatine to get him in party mode. Fuckin-awesome.
Apparently that motherfucker can't handle his booze, because he passed out on the fuckin keyboard. I had to drag, shove, kick him to the couch. I think he's mumblin' something about Misty right now. Could be about Phelps, that motherfucker just secured the fastest times in the pre-LIMBS. Motherfucker gots some gills or something.
So, that leads me to my point. Misty has such a great ass. It's like the pinnacle of allness.
Fuckin shit, I just thought up the next script for Indiana Jones. It's called "Indiana Jones and the Search for Misty May-Treanor's Ass." That'll be his most sought-after relic yet. Fuck the cup of youth, and those crystal skulls, and that thing he searched for in the first movie. This movie takes place in Beijing, and Indiana comes in with his hat, crackin his whip and yelling, "Get down." Then Shia shows up, talking about Decepticons and driving drunk and fuckin up scheduling, and then he's all like "Megan Fox is hot and all, but she ain't got shit on Misty May-Treanor." Then they turn that shit into a musical and sing an aria called "Misty May-Treanor's Golden Ass." It wins a grammy and an oscar. Then there's some explosions, a tension-filled game of volleyball, and the end battle sequence where Shia gets hit repeatedly in the cherries like he did in "The Crystal Skull." After that hilarious stuff, Misty May-Treanor comes out and says, "You boys like this?" Then she points at her ass. It wins an oscar and a Hollywood star. Her ass does, I mean.
So, fuck it, George Lucas owes me money, Shia owes me respect, and Indiana Jones owes me a hat.
Dale's fucking around with the remote, trying to "bring back" Misty's match. That motherfucker must think we got Tivo or something. In actuality we're stealing the cable from next door.
One more thing: Have you ever noticed how your pants get a little tighter when Misty May-Treanor comes on screen? It's like she's got some magnets or something. Fuck if I know, I prolly should have paid attention is sex-education class.
One more thing: Misty has a great ass.
One more thing:
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